


Lesbiarum Navigatio; Voyage of The Lesbians

by abraxasgrip



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, F/F, Pirate Vriska Serket, Trans Vriska Serket
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-07-11 19:47:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19933513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abraxasgrip/pseuds/abraxasgrip
Summary: An Illyrian Pirate, a Lawyers Slave, an Apollonian Seer, and a Vestal Virgin all sail east to escape the ever-tightening grip of Roman authority. (or: Vriska, Terezi, Rose, and Kanaya go on a little voyage through a late Roman Republican Mediterranean)





	Lesbiarum Navigatio; Voyage of The Lesbians

**Author's Note:**

> For context, this is set in the immediate aftermath of the Third Illyrian War of 168BC, less than 20 years after the Third Punic War that ended Carthage. This is the period in which Roman expansion was reaching a fever pitch, approaching more or less total hegemony over the Mediterranean.  
> Here's a poorly edited picture of a trireme I use for mental reference: https://imgur.com/a/9TLrsuO

The waves of a wine-dark sea bear the flotsam and viscera of eight-dozen battered galleys to the hull of Arachne’s Grip, a slender trireme planted in the blemished white sand of a rocky Adriatic beach. 

VRISKA: May8e it was just a run of 8ad luck????????  
VRISKA: What if we hide out in Promona for a while.  
VRISKA: Let the 8oys catch their 8reath........  


Vriska leans into the back of an ornate carving of Fortuna, embedded in the prow of her warship. 

VRISKA: We could contact the tri8es that didn’t get hit so hard,  
VRISKA: W8 for the right time to turn the ta8les!!!!!!!!  


She rubs her temples through the dark red sash wrapped around her eyes and looks out over the churning sea of fire. Torched bodies cling to shattered masts and hulls cracked open and exposed to the frigid waters of the north Adriatic. Hundreds died here, in a spare few hours, after months of warfare and years of planning. All that work lost to the waves. 

TEREZI: VR1SK4.  
TEREZI: 1 R34LLY DON’T TH1NK TH4T “B4D LUCK” 1S WH4T C4US3D 4LL OF... TH1S  
VRISKA: Ugh maaaaaaaay8e so.  


Vriska scurries up the legs of the sculpture to scan the aftermath. 

VRISKA: 8ut c'mon!!!!!!!!  
VRISKA: We really had em for a while there!   
VRISKA: They’ll get tied up in the east any decade now.  
VRISKA: We can strike while they’ve got their 8acks turned.   
VRISKA: And may8e this time she won’t throw me such a shitty lot!!!!!!!!  


She throws her arm around the shoulders of the deific figurehead like a loanshark making Polite Conversation with a debtor they know can’t- or won’t- cough up the cash. Terezi is used to this routine of hers, this well established bit. It got them through years of hard luck and harder sailing. 

TEREZI: YOU CONF1D3NC3 1S 4S CH4RM1NG 4S 3V3R VR1SK4 :/  
TEREZI: BUT YOU KNOW 1T'S OV3R  
TEREZI: JUST LOOK 4ROUND YOU.  
VRISKA: 8ut-  
TEREZI: TH3Y SUNK TH3 FL33TS 4ND SUBDU3D TH3 TR1B3S.   
TEREZI: YOUR K1NG 1S 31TH3R D34D OR B31NG P4R4D3D THROUGH TH3 STR33TS OF ROM3.   
TEREZI: M4YB3 3V3N BOTH!   
TEREZI: 1 KNOW TH1S 1S H4RD TO B3L13V3  
TEREZI: MUCH L3SS TO 4CC3PT.   
TEREZI: BUT TH3R3’S NOTH1NG MOR3 W3 C4N DO.  


Vriska groans, leaping down to the deck, and breaks into anxious pacing the second her boots hit the wood. She gestures frantically as the crew silently scuffles out of her way. 

VRISKA: May8e these losers can’t!   
VRISKA: 8ut I could.   
VRISKA: Uh.  
VRISKA:   
VRISKA: I dunno, kill the consul or something!   
VRISKA: May8e sell some of what we got 8elow-decks, gra8 a few thousand Gaulic mercenaries.   
VRISKA: Get a real invasion going!!!!!!!!  
TEREZI: NOP3   
TEREZI: NOP3.  
TEREZI: NOT H4PP3N1NG.  


She follows behind and reaches out to gently touch her shoulder, stopping her in her tracks. Vriska tenses up on reflex, softening up only the barest bit when the touch registers. 

TEREZI: 1 DON’T DOUBT YOUR 4B1L1TY TO CRUSH TH31R CHUMP C1T13S.   
TEREZI: HON3STLY 4 L1TTL3 P1LL4G1NG 4ND LOOT1NG WOULD B3 PR3TTY FUN TO S33 R1GHT NOW >:]   
TEREZI: BUT W3 N33D YOU H3R3.  


She gestures to the remainder of their crew, shivering from the sea spray. 

TEREZI: TH3 W4R 1S OV3R.   
TEREZI: 4ND W3 LOST.   
TEREZI: BUT 4S B4D 4S TH1NGS M4Y S33M, W3 M4D3 1T OUT.   
TEREZI: W3 SURV1V3D!   
TEREZI: SO W3 SHOULD PROB4BLY TRY TO K33P 1T TH4T W4Y!  


Groaning, Vriska moves away out of her grasp and sinks the ragged nails of her one good hand into the wave-worn wood of the ship’s railing. 

VRISKA: Oh so what then?   
VRISKA: We should just give up?   
VRISKA: Sail around the heel of the 8oot and up to Rome, dump our loot on the field of mars and say   
VRISKA: Oh mr consul, we’re soooooooo sorry for all that pillaging and r8ding!   
VRISKA: Please find it in your heart to not make us sl8ves 8gain!!!!!!!!  


She spits over the prow and into the glittering, blood drenched sand. 

TEREZI: OF COURS3 TH4T’S NOT WH4T 1 M34N, VR1SK4.   
TEREZI: YOU KNOW TH4T.  
TEREZI: 1T’S OK TO F33L LOST 4ND 4FR41D R1GHT NOW.  
TEREZI: 1’M SUR3 W3 4LL 4R3!   
TEREZI: BUT YOU DON’T N33D TO GO OUT 1N ON3 L4ST BL4Z3 OF V3NG34NC3 JUST TO F33L L1K3 YOU’V3 S31Z3D TH3 R31NS B4CK FROM TH3 F4T3S.  
VRISKA: I am not afr8d.   
VRISKA: And like f8ck would I die!   
VRISKA: I’m not scared of a 8unch of peninsular jackoffs.   
VRISKA: Even if they’ve 8urned down my home...  
VRISKA: 8nd my fleet........  


From behind, she considers reaching out for her again, but this seems like one of those moments where she needs the time and space to work through things on her own. Vriska breathes in and out, slowly, in time with the splash of the waves against the hull. She sighs after a good minute, her grip on the ship loosening as she turns back to face Terezi. 

VRISKA: 8ut!!!!!!!!  
VRISKA: Let’s pl8y pretend,  
VRISKA: And imagine that I’m as much of a wuss as the rest of you.   
VRISKA: If we don’t launch an epic invasion into the heart of 8ly, what else is there to do?   
VRISKA: Where else to go?  


Vriska pauses to plop down on the railing, anxiously kicking her legs back and forth. Her eyes are scrambling across the deck, taking stock of every worn down asset she has left in her disposal. 

VRISKA: I mean we can’t exactly keep pirating in the Adriatic now that it’s aaaaaaaaall under Roman control.   
VRISKA: So what’s the first step in your genius “not dying” plan, Pyrope?”  


She opens her mouth to respond and is cut off by their smallest oarsman, screaming from across the deck. 

KARKAT: COULD YOU TWO PLEASE TAKE A TWO SECOND BREAK TO STOW YOUR DEEPLY REPRESSED, OVERDRAMATIC, ROMANTIC BULLSHIT BELOW-DECKS FOR JUST ONE DAY.  
KARKAT: OR FUCK!  
KARKAT: ONE SINGLE HOUR OF PURE, CONCENTRATED BLISS.  
KARKAT: SO WE CAN MAYBE ADDRESS THE FACT THAT THE ONLY ONES HERE WHO AREN'T STARVING OR BLEEDING TO DEATH ARE DOING THEIR BEST IMPRESSION OF A FAMILY OF HEDGEHOGS.

He gestures with both hands to a small pile of sailors, each packed with arrows. Vriska kicks both legs upwards in time with a theatrical gasp. 

VRISKA: Karkat!!!!!!!!  
VRISKA: Here I was thinking, wow there's noooooooo way THAT guy made it out of THAT 8attle alive!  
VRISKA: I was just in agoooonnnnnyyyy.  
VRISKA: You wouldn't even 8elieve it!  
VRISKA: If you hadnt spoken up to yell that inane shit at me just now I think I would've thrown myself over the 8ow in grief!  
VRISKA: Guess I’ll have to call off the funeral of our eighth most important, first loudest officer!!!!!!!!  


She dodges a well-aimed dull sword with a smirk but from the scratching and soft kicking against the railing of the ship that follows, she’s clearly back to understanding the gravity of the situation. Try as Vriska might to bury her true emotions under layers of affected apathy, she always betrays herself with the shaky breaths and tics that Terezi has learned to listen for. Vriska’s eyes scan the deck, counting injuries to ship and crew alike before sighing and turning to her quartermaster. 

VRISKA: So.   
VRISKA: What are the casualties like?   
VRISKA: Anyone important????????   
VRISKA: Any of the original crew?   
VRISKA: Or is it just those Macedonian oar 8oy mercenaries?  
TEREZI: W3LL UNL3SS YOU W4NT TO SW1M YOUR W4Y OUT OF TH3 4DR14T1C 1’D S4Y TH3Y'R3 4LL PR3TTY 1MPORT4NT!   
TEREZI: BUT FROM MY COUNT 1T S33MS L1K3 W3 GOT OUT OF TH1S MOR3 OR L3SS 1NT4CT.  
VRISKA: Fuck yeah!!!!!!!!  


Vriska leans-dangerously far- over the edge of the ship, inspecting the sides to the best of her ability. She leans back over and catches the botswain as she emerges from belowdecks. 

VRISKA: Feferi! How’s she looking?  
VRISKA: Are we gonna 8e good to sail????????  
FEFERI: W)(ale I’ll )(ave to get a closer look w)(en we disembark!   
FEFERI: But It looks A-Ok from t)(e inside!  
VRISKA: Aha!!!!!!!!  
VRISKA: I knew it’d take a lot more than a path8tic fleet like that to t8ke down MY ship and MY crew!!!!!!!!  


Vriska raises a triumphant fist into the air, and she's the only one close enough to see how much it’s still shaking. She takes a deep breath and speaks up to address the entire crew. 

VRISKA: Well I h8 to say it!   
VRISKA: 8ut I think Karkat is right here.  
VRISKA: You all should hop off and try to scrounge up enough wood to get some kinda fire going.  


Terezi heads below-decks to double-check the provisions, helping the oarsmen unload some essential provisions, before returning to Vriska’s perch. The rough leather of her armored legs brushes against her chest as she feels her way to a seat next to the captain. They share a quiet moment, listening to the pulse of the tides as the sailors vault onto the spotted white sand. As the last man crosses the threshold, Terezi turns to Vriska. 

TEREZI: YOU’R3 NOT R34LLY GO1NG TO L34V3, 4R3 YOU?  
VRISKA: If you think I should stay, then fuck. I guess I’ll stay.   
VRISKA: I mean I don’t think I could get enough Gauls to 8urn down a city even if we sold the goddess over there.  
VRISKA: And 8esides!!!!!!!!  
VRISKA: Could you imagine how 8ad any real voyage would 8e without me here????????  
VRISKA: You’d all 8e slumming it in Neptune's palace 8y next week ::::)  
TEREZI: 4ND YOU’D B3 DROWN1NG 1N 4 P1L3 OF GU4L1C CORPS3S OUTS1D3 TH3 W4LLS OF ROM3.  
TEREZI: OR TR4MPL3D BY 4 W4R 3L3PH4NT!  
TEREZI: 4 BLU3B3RRY SC3NT3D P4NC4K3 C4N’T C4PT41N OUR SH1P >:]  
VRISKA: Ha! I’m not a toddler, Terezi.  
VRISKA: I know those stupid things aren’t real!   
VRISKA: What, do you think I’ll 8e picked off 8y a harpie next?   
VRISKA: Lured 8y a siren may8e????????  
TEREZI:   
TEREZI: VR1SK4.   
TEREZI:   
TEREZI: 1 PROM1S3 YOU TH4T 3L3PH4NTS 4R3 R34L.   
TEREZI: 1 TOLD YOU 4BOUT TH3 WHOL3 P4CK OF TH3M 1 S4W WH3N 1 W4S 4 L1TTL3 G1RL 1N C4RTH4G3.  
TEREZI: 1 WOULDNT L13 4BOUT TH4T >:/  
TEREZI: 4ND B3S1D3S, DUMMY.   
TEREZI: S1R3NS 4R3 MOST D3F1N1T3LY R34L TOO.  
TEREZI: R3M3MB3R WH3N W3 LOST TH4T WHOL3 W4RSH1P?  
TEREZI: 1 N3V3R TOLD YOU...  
TEREZI: BUT W3 FOUND 1T 4 F3W D4YS L4T3R, MOOR3D ON 4 L1TTL3 ROCKY 1SL4ND.  
TEREZI: TH3 ONLY TH1NG ON 1T W4S 4 P1L3 OF BL34CH3D WH1T3 BON3S...  
TEREZI: P1CK3D CL34N >:]  


Vriska slowly, quetly break eye contact and gazes out over the endless expanse of steadinly darkening, churning waves stretched out behind them. Mezmerized by the soothing pattern, she sits like that for a moment, before turning back to Terezi with the most innocent look she's ever seen her wear. She has her on the hook. 

VRISKA: Ok....  
VRISKA: 8ut........  
VRISKA: I mean…. even if they were real....  
VRISKA: There's no w8y they’d be hanging out in a place like this, right?   
VRISKA: You’d think they’d 8e 8ound to warmer waters........ 

She looks at Vriska with all the gravity and conspiracy of an elderly cultist preparing to reveal unholy truths to a young initiate. 

TEREZI: WH4T M4K3S YOU SO SUR3?   
TEREZI: 1 H4PP3N TO H4V3 SOM3 SOL1D 3V1D3NC3 FOR M4N-34T1NG S1R3N 4CT1V1TY 1N TH1S V3RY COV3...  
VRISKA: Y.. you do????????  
VRISKA: Wh-

Terezi lunges at Vriska before she can finish, nipping the tattoo working its way up and over her collarbone. Vriska flails dramatically 

VRISKA: Ha! Ok ok cut th8t shit out I thought you were s-  


She slips on the wet wood of the railing and falls backward, dragging Terezi with her into the shallows. Half an hour of kicking, screaming, play fighting, and nearly drowning in the bloody waves later and they pull themselves towards the shore, laughing their asses off. 

VRISKA: You mutinous little shit!   
VRISKA: I think I sprained my ankle from that fall  
TEREZI: YOU C4N H4RDY BL4M3 M3 >:]  
TEREZI: YOU G4V3 M3 4 CL34N SHOT 4T 4T TH4T T4TTOO.  
VRISKA: Well you coulda just gone for my hand if that’s all you wanted!!!!!!!!  


They finally trudge their way out of the shallows and collapse into the wet sand. A trireme and salted sardine scented bonfire blazes across the beach, surrounded the shivering forms of their crew, sharing the few blankets left unsoaked. 

TEREZI: W3 SHOULD PROB4BLY 34T, VR1SK4.   
TEREZI: M4YB3 L3T TH3 R3ST OF TH3 CR3W KNOW TH4T TH31R D34R C4PT41N D1DN’T P3R1SH 1N H3R STRUGGL3 4G41NST TH3 GR34T S34 S3RP3NT >:]  
VRISKA: Ha!!!!!!!!  
VRISKA: What do I get as a trophy?   
VRISKA: Gotta have something to show for such a legendary 8attle against suuuuuuuuch a horri8le 8east.  


Terezi props her head up against the sand with one hand and lowers her scarlet eye sash with another. 

TEREZI: W3LL 1’D OFF3R YOU TH3 3Y3S OF TH3 B34ST 4S 4 PR1Z3, BUT…  
VRISKA: Haha.... ha....   
VRISKA: Ok yeah........  


She softly punches Vriska in the arm and drags herself up up. 

TEREZI: OK 3NOUGH FUCK1NG 4ROUND  
TEREZI: W3 GOTT4 L3T TH3 R3ST OF TH3M KNOW TH4T YOU’V3 D3C1D3D TO ST4Y 4FT3R 4LL.  
VRISKA: Mm yeah.   
VRISKA: May8e they’ll have some idea of where to go next.  
VRISKA:   
VRISKA: I’ll 8e over in a minute   


Terezi lingers behind her until it becomes clear that she’s probably not gonna budge for a good while, dug into the sand and absorbed by the shuddering rise and fall of the waters. She looks over her shoulder to the bonfire and back, then sighs and collapses next to her in the sand. 

She sits there for a short while, taking in the sharp, unforgettable metallic stench of blood soaked seaweed and the sound of Vriska nervously scratching at her throat. Slowly, gently, they way you’d move to not startle a cornered wolf, Terezi scooches over to Vriska and rests her head against the deep blue ink coiling around her bicep and up to her neck. 

For a rare moment they let the silence linger, watching the falling sun set fire to the aftermath of a loss that would launch a voyage more grand and desperate than they could ever imagine.

**Author's Note:**

> As a classics student, I’m bound to a degree of historical accuracy in writing this, but as a trans lesbian I’m more than willing to throw that out the window when convenient. 
> 
> Feedback appreciated :3


End file.
